Working my way back

It's September 15th. I had planned to take the month of August off from this blog to work on some other needed projects. But as life goes, the projects took longer, and I'm just coming back now in the middle of September.

Life with three kids is keeping me busy. Add to that a busy husband in graduate school, part-time work, church involvement, the many demands of home management, and it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. But...I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way!

So out of necessity, I may have to cut back my time spent on this blog. I have plenty of ideas that I want to record and share with you, but just not enough time in my day to write up all the posts. Some day (probably only in my dreams) I'll get to everything on my to do list.

In the meantime, I would love to hear from you. As a reader of this blog, what would you most like to read here? Have you ever enjoyed a book with your child that I've recommended? Discovered a great recipe? Or been inspired by the words of a prophet, encouraging you in your role as a mother?

Please take a minute and leave a comment (dare I say, vote?) on the following list of topics. Your votes will help me to prioritize and get to the most helpful or interesting posts first.

1. Activities (or crafts) to do with children
2. Home organizing and management
3. Parenting tips and helps
4. Recipes
5. Book recommendations for kids
6. LDS quotes on mothering, parenting, families
7. FHE lessons

This blog has always been about nurturing. Providing encouragement and tools for mothers, who will then go on and fulfill their most important role to nurture their children. But mostly it's a place for me to record and organize the lessons I am learning as a mother. This quote is a good reminder for me tonight

"Some of you sisters may feel inadequate because you can't seem to do all you want to do. Motherhood and parenting are most challenging roles. You also have Church callings that you fulfill so capably and conscientiously...In general you noble sisters are doing a much better job of holding it all together and making it work than you realize. May I suggest that you take your challenges one day at a time. Do the best you can. Look at everything through the lens of eternity. If you will do this, life will take on a different perspective."

"I fear you sisters do not realize in the smallest part the extent of your influence for good in your families, in the Church, and in society. Your influence for good is incalculable and indescribable."

"I truly believe you are instruments in the hands of God in your many roles, especially that of motherhood."

"In the work of the kingdom, men and women are equally important. God entrusts women to bear and nurture His children. No other work is more important. Motherhood is such an important role for women."

James E. Faust, “Instruments in the Hands of God,” Ensign, Nov 2005, 114

My notes from two special meetings

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend two wonderful meetings.

My stake hosted a wonderful Women's Conference on Saturday morning. The theme was "Live Like You Believe". We watched this moving video, with photos set to the inspiring words by Jenny Phillips (really, go watch it, it's a beautiful song). I attended a great mini-class called "Imperfect Parents Setting the Perfect Example". The biggest lesson that I took home was the importance of daily prayer and scripture study. Those two practices are so essential, since it is impossible to do everything that we would like to perfectly. Prayer and the words of Christ will help us focus on the right priorities. Ideally, I should be making time for prayer and scripture study first thing in the morning, to help me throughout my day.

Sunday morning our stake had a special stake conference, presided over by Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles. It was a very nice meeting. Our stake president and his wife spoke, teaching about the importance of the scriptures, specifically the Book of Mormon. The Orlando Temple President and Matron both spoke about attending the temple and the blessings of it.

Elder Larry Lawrence of the second quorum of the seventy then spoke. He taught that the most important message coming from the leading brethren of the church is strengthening families. He referred to Elder Oaks talk "Good, Better, Best" (go read it again, it is excellent!). Elder Lawrence focused his remarks on strengthening families and the "fundamental 5" things that families should do: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner, and one-on-one time with children and with spouse.

Then Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke. He also spoke about the responsibilities of parents and the things that we should be teaching our children: about Jesus Christ and the atonement and resurrection, about prophets, about the priesthood, about the temple, etc. He said to keep trying to have family prayer and scripture study, even if it's not a "howling success". And, don't quit just because of "more than a little howling".

Elder Nelson emphasized this scripture from Isaiah: "And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children" (Isaiah 54:13). The most touching part of the meeting was when he had all of the Primary aged children stand up and sing I Am a Child of God. It was very tender moment, and I know I wasn't the only one in the room with wet eyes. The Ant Bug stood on her chair and sang her heart out.

He closed his remarks with an apostolic blessing. What a special blessing to have an apostle of the Lord speak to us in our chapel. We waited in line for about 30 minutes after the meeting to shake Elder Nelson's hand.

I am thankful for the opportunity I had this weekend to be so thoroughly enriched and taught by the Spirit.

Come See the Light

During the Easter season it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of coloring eggs, Easter bunnies and spring fun. But I hope that you take time to reflect on the real meaning of Easter, the life and atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Take time to read the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets about him and listen to music about him. Here is a moving presentation with photos and video depicting the Savior's life.

Date Nights for Kids and Parents

Last month I mentioned that I have been working to build more positive relationships with my children. I want to be an intentional mother, and I'm striving to make sure that my children and my husband are my priority.

So our latest experiment has been scheduling weekly date nights. Date nights for the kids, as well as date nights for mom and dad. Here is a breakdown of how each type of date night is working for us.

Kid Date Nights
Friday night is either date night or family fun night. The first week all four of us had a game night at home. We taught the girls how to play Uno (which they loved) and had a treat for dessert. The next week I had a date with the Sweet Bee out, while Dad had a date night with the Ant Bug at home. Each child got one-on-one time with a parent. Then the next week we had another family fun night with all four of us at home--this was the weekend of Valentine's Day so we had some theme activities including this Valentine's day scavenger hunt. The next week after that, I had a date night with the Ant Bug out, while Dad had a date night with the Sweet Bee at home. Are you seeing the pattern here?! Family fun all together one week, alternating with individual parent and child dates.

Our date nights are pretty simple and low-cost. On our "out" evenings both girls have wanted to visit the animals at the pet store and then go out for an ice cream treat. Now that it stays light for longer in the evenings I imagine that we'll be having some excursions to the park. The important thing is to do something that the child enjoys. Our dates are generally about an hour long, tucked in the window of time between dinnertime and bedtime (preserving the 8pm bedtime is essential to my sanity!).

I think our family fun nights are also important for strengthening family unity with all four of us. We try to chose something that everyone will enjoy, but again, our activities are pretty simple and low-cost. Game night, movie night, dinner out, etc.

It doesn't take a lot of planning and effort, but our girls are realizing that Friday's are family fun days, and they know that mom and dad want to spend time with them.

Husband and Wife Date Nights
On this blog I focus a lot on my children: activities I do with them, books I read with them, projects I make for them, etc. I hope my husband doesn't feel neglected! Just as it is important for children to have special time with mom and dad, mom and dad need special time for each other!

My husband and I decided that we also need to be more committed about a weekly date night with each other. For quite awhile we have basically had Friday evening as our unofficial date night, but we kind of fell into the rut of just watching a movie or tv shows. We have legitimate excuses, of course: husband in graduate school, no money for a babysitter, we're TIRED!, etc. But when I came across Project 52: Date Nights at Simply Modern Mom I knew we needed to commit ourselves and make dating a priority in our marriage.

Friday night is also our couple date night. We put the kids to bed at 8pm, take a little time to ourselves to unwind or get ready, and then it's our time for the rest of the evening. We alternate weeks to decide who is in charge of planning the date. So far all of our dates have been at home (and that's a trend that is likely to continue), but we are still having fun. We've played games, swapped massages, played games with neighbors (group dates are allowed!), and relaxed and made plans for the impending delivery of our baby boy (in 2-3 weeks!).

Again, the planning and effort it takes to have our weekly date night has been minimal, but we're strengthening our marriage and reaping the benefits.

If you're interested in making date nights with your husband a weekly priority, be sure to check in with Project 52: Date Nights. Tiffany posts weekly about her dates and opens it up for her readers to do the same, so you have access to a lot of creative date ideas.

I would love to hear your ideas. Do you have a regular date night? How has it strengthened your family relationships?

Here are a few places that might inspire some creative dates for you and your husband:
16 Creative Dates at Home at The Mother Huddle.
Love, Actually

Raising a Righteous Posterity

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to speak in Sacrament Meeting. I was excited when I was told my topic: Raising a Righteous Posterity. After all of my research for this blog, this was definitely a topic I could talk about! Here is the text of my talk. It was supposed to be a 15-18 minute talk, so it's pretty long!

Raising a Righteous Posterity

Being a parent is an awesome and somewhat daunting responsibility. Satan’s tactics are convincing, and his attacks on the family are alarming: drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, immorality, violence, and divorce are just a few of the hazards that lead to the breakdown of the family. Fortunately, there is a way to combat the evils of the world.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin stated: "The place to cure most of the ills of society is in the homes of the people. Building our homes as fortresses of righteousness for protection from the world takes constant labor and diligence. Membership in the Church is no guarantee of a strong, happy family. Often parents feel overwhelmed.”

“In the plan of salvation, all families are precious instruments in the Lord’s hands to help direct His children toward a celestial destination. The righteous molding of an immortal soul is the highest work we can do, and the home is the place to do it. To accomplish this eternal work, we should make our homes gospel centered. When peace and harmony abound, the Holy Spirit will ever be present. The storms of the evil one can be stopped at the very entrance of our homes.” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Spiritually Strong Homes and Families,” Ensign, May 1993, 68)

Let me emphasize, “The righteous molding of an immortal soul is the highest work we can do, and the home is the place to do it.” Today I will be speaking on the topic of raising a righteous posterity. This is something that I have thought a lot about, even before I became a mother. In college at BYU I chose to major in Marriage, Family, and Human Development because I wanted to learn all that I could to prepare me to be the best wife and mother I could be. Now I find myself spending my free time reading parenting books and blogs; I even have my own blog focused primarily on nurturing mothers and children.

Fortunately, being a parent today doesn’t require a college degree, and you are not expected to spend hours upon hours researching the latest parenting interventions. What is required of parents is a focus on Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ. As Helaman taught his sons: “…remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.” (Hel. 5:12.)

Families who work together to build a strong foundation, a foundation that is centered on the Savior and the principles of his gospel, are the families that will come out victorious in the end. Today I am going to go back to the basics by discussing five essential building blocks for building a strong foundation for our families, a foundation that will strengthen our children against the temptations that they will face.

The five essential building blocks I will address are: living the principles of the Family Proclamation, prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and showing love.

Building Block #1: Live the Principles of the Proclamation
The fist essential building block for the foundation of a strong family is living the principles contained in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. I hope each of you have a copy of the Proclamation in your home and refer to it often. This document is truly scripture for our day; it provides the mandate we need as parents to raise righteous children.

I would like to share paragraph seven from the Proclamation with you: “The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”

There is a lot of doctrine contained in that one short paragraph! In 2009, the Primary children focused on just one key sentence for the entire year: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”As the Primary children recited that statement every week, I was often struck by its significance and I hope that the children remember its importance as they grow older.

In a devotional address at BYU, Elder M. Russell Ballard offered specific, encouraging words: “To parents everywhere, my counsel is simple: Get a copy of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." Read it and strive to align your marriage and your family to its inspired, revealed direction from the Lord. Then, be the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children. Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up." (M. Russell Ballard (2003, August 19). "The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood," BYU Devotional Address.)

Building Block #2: Prayer
The second essential building block for the foundation of a strong family is prayer. Prayer provides protection like nothing else can. In the April 2009 General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson said, “Prayer is the provider of spiritual strength; it is the passport to peace. Prayer is the means by which we approach our Father in Heaven, who loves us. Speak to Him in prayer and then listen for the answer. Miracles are wrought through prayer.”

Make time to pray with your children, morning and night. Admittedly, family prayer in our home right now, with two young children, is usually not very reverent. But we are establishing a pattern so our children know that we are a family that prays together, and as President Monson likes to say “The family that prays together, stays together”. It’s best to set a regular time and stick with it. In our house we say family prayer in the evening, just before our girls go to bed. Morning prayer is something that we have been working on improving lately, and since we have worked it into our routine and made a plan for it, we have been much more successful.

As your children get older, scheduling family prayer will become more difficult. I read of a mother who got up early with a teenage son and said a prayer with him before he left for early morning seminary, and then would say prayers again when the rest of the family woke up. Be flexible, and do what works best for your family.

It is essential to make time for your own prayers. Heavenly Father hears the prayers of parents. President Monson said “We often feel overwhelmed by the task before us. However, help is ever at hand. He who knows each of His children will answer our fervent and heartfelt prayer as we seek help in guiding them. Such prayer will solve more problems, alleviate more suffering, prevent more transgression, and bring about greater peace and contentment in the human soul than any other way” (Thomas S. Monson, 2006. “Heavenly Homes, Forever Families,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting).

I testify that my prayers, especially when it comes to family concerns, have been heard and answered by a loving Heavenly Father.

Building Block #3: Scripture Study
The third essential building block for the foundation of a strong family is regular study of the scriptures. President Spencer W. Kimball taught "Scripture study as individuals and as a family is most fundamental to learning the gospel. Daily reading of the scriptures and discussing them together is a powerful tool against the temptations of Satan. This practice will produce great happiness and will help family members love the Lord and his goodness. Home is where we become experts and scholars in gospel righteousness." (President Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 129).

Prophets through all ages taught the importance of studying the scriptures, both individually and as a family. But what the prophets haven't said specifically is how that should be done. In all of my research I have never read where a prophet commanded "Thou shalt read 42 verses a day in your family". And no prophet ever said "Thou shalt read 5 verses per family member every morning and night". The nice thing about family scripture study is that it can be tailored to meet the needs of each family.

In our house we read a verse of scripture in the morning, prior to family prayer. We also try to read a few verses in the evening as the girls are getting ready for bed. We have also made use of the Book of Mormon stories scripture reader, as well as the Gospel Art Picture Kit, both resources produced by the church. In addition, we make sure to use our scriptures during Family Home Evening. Now that Anwyn is reading, it is exciting for her to find and highlight scriptures in her own copy of the Book of Mormon. Lily asks often for her “diptures”, and likes to carry them around with her and in the car. It is never too early to introduce your children to the scriptures.

Building Block #4: Family Home Evening
The fourth essential building block for the foundation of a strong family is weekly Family Home Evening. In 1915, the First Presidency instructed local leaders and parents to begin a home evening, a time when parents should teach their families the principles of the gospel. The Presidency wrote: “If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them” (http://www.lds.org/hf/statements/0,16955,4232-1,00.html).

Family Home Evening is for everyone: couples, families with younger or older children, single parents, grandparents and others. Everyone should be involved, even young children. Our daughter Anwyn recently taught her first lesson in our Family Home Evening and it was a great learning experience for all of us. President Faust counseled that “We should do all we can to free up Monday evenings from any other competing activities. Like glue, family home evening bonds us together as families. Lessons should be instructive and involve family members in a relaxed atmosphere which includes an expression of love (James E. Faust, “Challenges Facing the Family,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 2–3. ).

When it comes to preparing lessons, there are many resources available to help. We often rely on the lesson manuals produced by the Church. The new Nursery manual, Behold Your Little Ones, is fabulous for those with small children. All of the lessons are available online at lds.org. We also depend a lot upon the church magazines, the Friend and the Ensign. Our lessons are usually short, and we try to include some type of game or hands-on-activity to actively engage our children. And of course, this isn’t a requirement, but at our house we like to end with a treat!

A year ago I was pondering about ways that I could improve both the quality of our family scripture study and our Family Home Evenings. I decided that I could start by making sure to focus on the scriptures each week during Family Home Evening. Here is how it works for us:
1) We plan a family home evening lesson.
2) We chose a scripture that corresponds with the lesson.
3) We read and discuss the scripture as a family at FHE.
4) We make a poster to display the scripture. This is really simple. I just type it up large to fill an 8.5 by 11 sheet of paper and then I tape it up on the wall near our kitchen table.
5) Then we refer to the scripture and talk about it throughout the week.
It's a pretty simple thing, but it has made a difference in our family. We usually end up discussing it during mealtimes, and it allows us to review the key concepts from the lesson. We don't spend a lot of time on it (and we aren't required to memorize it), it just gives us a reminder or a starter for a gospel discussion with the children each day.

Focusing on one verse a week is a nice, manageable amount for our young children. A number of times Anwyn has surprised me by memorizing the scripture, and in all cases she ends up reading the scripture on her own at some point--a bonus for encouraging literacy skills in early readers!

Building Block #5: Show Love
The fifth essential building block for the foundation of a strong family is show love to your children. Last fall during General Conference, Elder Bednar gave an excellent talk called “More Diligent and Concerned at Home”. One of the ways that parents can be more diligent and concerned at home is simply “by telling the people we love that we love them.” Don’t worry about trying to be fancy or elaborate with your words, simple expressions of love are just fine.

Elder Bednar questions: “Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you took your eternal companion in your arms and said, “I love you”? Parents, when was the last time you sincerely expressed love to your children? Children, when was the last time you told your parents that you love them? Each of us already knows we should tell the people we love that we love them. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. We may feel unsure, awkward, or even perhaps a bit embarrassed.”

There is more to love than just saying the words. Do your children know from your actions that you love them? Spend time with them, listening and playing and laughing. Make happy memories together. Be their biggest cheerleader and offer encouragement. Read books and blow bubbles and play games and explore the world together. I love all of the church commercials that state “Family—isn’t it about time?”. Demonstrate your love to your children by giving them your most precious commodity—your time and attention.

Recently I read President Uchtdorf's talk from the April 2009 General Conference, "We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down". He spoke about using the guidance of the Holy Ghost to focus on what matters most in life, and he encouraged us to take some time to reflect on whether our actions really line up with what our hearts are telling us to focus on.

As you consider what is most important in your life, listen to these words from The Family: A Proclamation to the World: "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations...By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

Now, I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that my "to-do" list is much longer than the hours available in my day: Clean the house, make nutritious meals, work on food storage, develop my talents, exercise, read good books, teach my children, support my husband, go visiting teaching, write in my journal (or blog!), go grocery shopping, magnify my calling...all of these things are good things, but it's nearly impossible to do all of them every day. The key here is balance, and it's something that I am really trying to work on. Some days I do better than others, and some days I wish I could do things over.

President Uchtdorf counsels "We cannot and must not allow ourselves to get distracted from our sacred duty. We cannot and we must not lose focus on the things that matter most." As a wife and a mother, my most important role is to nurture my family. How I carry out that role is a matter of prayer between myself and the Lord, and it’s going to look different for every woman and every family.

In the October 2008 General Conference, President Monson also spoke about recognizing what is important and what is not. In regards to parenting, he said “If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future. If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly (Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Liahona, Nov 2008, 84–87).

To conclude, President Hinckley offered these wise words: "You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done? (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Your Greatest Challenge, Mother,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 97–100”.

I bear testimony that the family is of God. Heavenly Father has given parents a great responsibility, but he does not leave us without guidance. May we each strive to build a strong foundation for our families by focusing on living the principles of the Family Proclamation, prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and showing love. Our lives and the lives of our children will be blessed. I know that we have a living prophet on the earth today who leads and guides the church. I know that our Savior lives, and that Heavenly Father loves each of us and wants us to return to live with him again.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Show Love to Your Child

I've been reflecting lately on the relationship that I have with each of my children. The Ant Bug is old enough that the memories we are making now are likely memories that she will hold onto the rest of her life. Is the positive outweighing the negative? Hopefully, but some days I'm not so sure!

The countdown to the arrival of baby #3 is starting to loom a little closer (8 more weeks, give or take!). I know to expect some upheaval with the arrival of our son, but I'm hoping that I can alleviate some of the strain if I'm intentional about fostering a positive relationship with each child.

So I have been thrilled to find so many people blogging about ways to show love to others. Valentine's Day is certainly not the only day to show our love to those we care about, but the holiday can give our loving thoughts and actions a jump start that will hopefully inspire us throughout the year.

The Mother Huddle shared a great list: 40 Ways to Show Your Child Love. The list was so great that I had to include it here.

1. Take them to a movie they want to see.
2. Go on a treasure hunt (collect all the loose change around the house/car) together and then make a trip to the arcade with your findings.
3. Take a long nature walk together, at their pace. Let them lead the conversation.
4. Find qualities about them that you genuinely love, and compliment them in front of others.
5. Frame a photo of the two of you, and display it in their room.
6. Put a few Hershey’s Hugs in one of their coat pockets, and Kisses in the other.
7. Play a game with them.
8. Let them win.
9. Make bath time special. Add lots of bubbles, colored soaps, maybe you could purchase a new tub toy or let them play with things found around the house. I let my kids play with things like colanders and funnels from the kitchen—they love it. Don’t forget to warm the towel!
10. Send them a handmade card in the mail with a coupon to go get ice cream with you.
11. Gather all the home movies that feature them as the “star” and have a movie night complete with popcorn and treats.
12. Using blankets and chairs, or a card table, build a clubhouse together and have a picnic inside.
13. Read “I love you” books together.
14. Let them stay up past their bedtime with you and watch cartoon classics together.
15. Do a chore that is normally reserved for them.
16. Tuck an encouraging note inside their lunchbox.
17. Give them your full attention.
18. Tell them some of the ways they make you happy.
19. Make them laugh.
20. Laugh with them.
21. Make their favorite treat to welcome them home from school with.
22. Show them your joy when they arrive.
23. Ask for hugs and kisses.
24. Listen, and let them make their own decisions whenever possible.
25. Make them a coupon book filled with things they’d enjoy doing, or things they’d like to get out of doing.
26. Take a day off from everything: work, household duties, technology, etc. and focus entirely on them.
27. Cook together.
28. Write them a poem using the initials of their name.
29. Decorate their room for no reason.
30. Create a sign that lavishes them with praise.
31. Kidnap them from school and take them out for lunch.
32. Make home a fun place to be.
33. Make a treasure box from an old shoe box, fill it with “gold” (chocolate coins) and make an official looking treasure map with clues for them to locate the hidden treasure with.
34. Go to the store and let them pick out all the ingredients to make banana splits. Make and eat them together.
35. Wrap up in a warm blanket together and take turns making up stories to tell each other.
36. Make a list of things you love about them and put it on their pillow before bedtime.
37. Talk about what they did in their day at dinnertime.
38. Sit down together and write a list of fun activities to do in a day. Write each idea on small slips of paper, roll up the papers and stick them inside balloons. Blow up all the balloons and then pop one balloon at a time until you’ve completed all the activities.
39. Play back rub/tickle games—ie; Spider crawling up you back…
40. Make a CD with all their favorite tunes and have a dance party.

In case 40 is a little too much for you, last year I posted 14 Ways To Show Love For Your Child.

Lots of fun ideas, and most are pretty simple. It just takes a little thought and planning on our part!

I also really liked the idea shared on Feels Like Home of Valentine's Love Notes for Kids. I have to admit that I wouldn't spend the effort of handcrafting personal envelopes for each note. But I am thinking I will be reusing the many hearts that are currently decorating our home for special secret love messages in the upcoming weeks.

A simple love ritual we have in our house has to do with sneezes. Read more about it here.

How do you show love to your children?

The Chinese bamboo tree: A parable for parents

"In everything you do in your family, keep in mind the miracle of the Chinese bamboo tree. After the seed for this amazing tree is planted, you see nothing, absolutely nothing, for four years except for a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb. During those four years, all the growth is underground in a massive, fibrous root structure that spreads deep and wide in the earth. But then in the the fifth year the Chinese bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet!

"Many things in family life are like the Chinese bamboo tree. You work and you invest time and effort, and you do everything you can possibly do to nurture growth, and sometimes you don't see anything for weeks, months, or even years. But if you're patient and keep working and nurturing, that "fifth year" will come, and you will be astonished at the growth and change you see taking place.

"Patience is faith in action. Patience is emotional diligence. It's the willingness to suffer inside so that others can grow. It reveals love. It gives birth to understanding."

From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey (pp. 22-23)

Aligning my heart and actions with the right priorities

Today I read President Uchtdorf's talk from the April 2009 General Conference, "We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down". Since this talk was given during the Priesthood Session, you might have missed it. Here are a few tidbits:

"We know what matters most in life—the Light of Christ teaches this to everyone. We as faithful Latter-day Saints have the Holy Ghost as a “constant companion” to teach us the things of eternal value. I imagine that any priesthood holder listening to my voice today, if asked to prepare a talk on the subject “what matters most,” could and would do an excellent job. Our weakness is in failing to align our actions with our conscience.

Pause for a moment and check where your own heart and thoughts are. Are you focused on the things that matter most? How you spend your quiet time may provide a valuable clue. Where do your thoughts go when the pressure of deadlines is gone? Are your thoughts and heart focused on those short-lived fleeting things that matter only in the moment or on things that matter most?

What grudges do you bear? What excuses do you cling to that keep you from being the kind of husband, father, son, and priesthood holder you know you should be? What are the things that distract you from your duties or hinder you from magnifying your calling more diligently?

Sometimes the things that distract us are not bad in and of themselves; often they even make us feel good.

It is possible to take even good things to excess. One example can be seen in a father or grandfather who spends hours upon hours searching for his ancestors or creating a blog while neglecting or avoiding quality or meaningful time with his own children and grandchildren. Another example could be a gardener who spends his days pulling weeds from the soil while ignoring the spiritual weeds that threaten to choke his soul.

Even some programs of the Church can become a distraction if we take them to extremes and allow them to dominate our time and our attention at the expense of things that matter most. We need balance in life.

When we truly love our Heavenly Father and His children, we demonstrate that love through our actions."

His words really touched me, and I felt the the tugging of the Spirit asking me to consider if I am focusing on the things that matter most most in my life.

President Uchtdorf goes on to discuss matters related to priesthood responsibilities for the men, but we can draw a parallel for the women by studying The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations...By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that my "to-do" list is much longer than the hours available in my day: Clean the house, make nutritious meals, work on food storage, develop my talents, exercise, read good books, teach my children, support my husband, help a neighbor, write in my journal (or blog!), go grocery shopping, magnify my calling...All of these things are good things, but it's near impossible to do all of them everyday. The key here is balance, and it's something that I am really trying to work on. Some days I do better than others, and some days I wish I could do things over.

President Uchtdorf counsels " We cannot and must note allow ourselves to get distracted from our sacred duty. We cannot and we must not lose focus on the things that matter most."

As a wife and a mother, my most important role is to nurture my family. How I carry out that role is a matter of prayer between myself and the Lord (and it will look different for every woman). But while I struggle to get things right in my life and my family, I'm thankful for the words of latter-day prophets who remind me of where my priorities should be.

Further Reading
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down,” Ensign, May 2009, 59–62
Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Liahona, Nov 2008, 84–87

LDS Speakers at World Congress of Families V

The Fifth World Congress of Families was held recently in Amsterdam. Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles was there to represent the church and he gave an excellent address. Here are a few highlights from his speech:

"On all sides, the family is under attack. Many wonder if the institution is no longer needed. Our response is certain. If there is any hope for the future of nations, that hope resides in the family. Our children are our wealth; our children are our strength; our children are indeed our future!"

"Dear friends, future happiness and even the future of nations is linked to children. Families with children need to be re-enthroned as the fundamental unit of society. We simply must value children more than we do! Without a new generation to replace the old, there is no wealth; without families, there is no future."

"Children come from the union of a man and a woman. The happiest and most secure children come from happy and secure marriages of fathers and mothers. History and contemporary studies have shown that marriage of a husband and a wife, with both contributing their distinctive natural traits to the family, provides the ideal context within which to rear productive, compassionate, and moral individuals."

You can read the full-text of his address here.

Elder Nelson's wife, Wendy Watson Nelson, also spoke, along with Sheri Dew. Links to their inspiring talks are below.

Wendy Watson Nelson: “Not Even Once!”

Sheri L. Dew: “‘Resurgence of Moral Virtue’ Is Necessary”

Prepared Mama: Food Packs for 72-hr Kits

A few weeks ago for Family Home Evening we pulled out our 72-hr emergency kits. I was a little chagrined by what I found. Our packs had been last updated in November of 2006. That means our food was two and half years old--yuck! And we only had two kits--for our family of four. Not so good.

So we got to work.

We thought it important to focus first on our food packs. I pulled out my sizable file of preparedness information I've collected over the years and did some research. These two blog posts were also very helpful:
Prepared LDS Family: 72-hr kits food packs
Team Freeman: Project Prepared Part 3

Keeping their suggestions in mind I made my shopping list. I did some price comparisons and ended up doing most of my shopping at Sam's Club, picking up a few things that were on sale at my local grocery store.

This is what we came up with for a one day menu.

Kellogg's Pop tarts (twin) 4 oz.,
Chef Boyardee Ravioli, or other 7.5 oz.,
Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup, 3 oz.,
2 MM Fruit Snacks 1.8 oz.
Del Monte Fruit cup 4 oz. can,.
2 Quaker Granola bar .84 oz,
2 Peanut Butter crackers, 1 oz.
Plastic spoon
Gallon size Ziploc bag
napkin

*Note: This is the amount for one day. It doesn't look like much. Some sites recommend more food than this, but this is what we are comfortable with right now, keeping in mind portability and our budget. I would like to add some PowerBar Protein bars soon but I'm waiting for a good deal to buy them. The gallon size Ziploc bag serves as the holding container for each day's contents.

To keep things simple I kept the same menu for each day, for each member of our family. So multiply the above list by 3 and you'll have enough for one person's 72 hr (3-day) pack.

We then spent another Family Home Evening assembling the packs for our entire family. The 4-year old Ant Bug was very excited about helping with this activity, but the 20-month old Sweet Bee mostly just wanted to eat the fruit snacks.

The first step is to label each Ziploc bag. I used sticky labels and wrote "Day One-K", "Day Two-K" and "Day Three-K", repeating this with their initials for each member of my family. Using the Ziploc bag helps keep things organized; it's waterproof and it can also double as a trash bag.

Here is our food pile.

With all of our food gathered we then went around the table and filled up our bags.

A finished bag.

Water
Not included in the above menu is water. The recommendation is that you have 1 gallon of water per person per day. Obviously we can't carry that in our packs, so I just stuck 3-16.9 fl oz water bottles in each pack.

The Plan
I don't want to end up with two year old fruit cups and granola bars in our kits again. So our plan is to pull out our kits every six months and change out the food that is nearing expiration. The easiest way to remember to do this is to coincide it with General Conference sessions. It happens twice a year and you won't forget it! I've heard of this idea from many sources, so come October I'll be pulling out our kits again.

My next step is to finish putting together the personal supplies for our kits. How are you doing when it comes to emergency preparedness? Please leave a comment with your tips!

Helpful Resources
Prepared LDS Family: This site is amazing and very helpful! Read it, and you'll be inspired to do something to prepare your family!
If ye are prepared ye shall not fear: This thought-provoking site explores issues of preparedness for the coming hard times.
Team Freeman: Project Prepared Part 3: A real-life example of a 72-hr kit.
Ready.gov: Prepare. Plan. Stay Informed.

Ways to Spend a Sunday

Spending a Sabbath day is a whole different experience with young children. In an effort to maintain some sense of reverence for that sacred day, here are some of the ways that we like to spend our Sundays:

Attend our church meetings (of course)! Even if much of the time is spent walking the halls with a crying baby or curious toddler. (My Sweet Bee had her first week in nursery last Sunday--hooray!)

Connect with family. Since our closest family members live a few states away we don't have a lot of opportunity to interact with family. So we like to make phone calls, send emails and chat on the web cam.

Watch movies--the Sunday appropriate kind. Anything produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here is what's in our collection.

My husband grew up watching the great BYU produced movies like The Phone Call and Measure of a Man (follow the link to watch it online) and The Award. I've sat through a few family dinners listening to quotes from these classics ("A beer can sweats, what about me?" or "Colleen. Hurry!" or "You two lovebirds all made up yet?"). I think they're great fun! Does anybody else remember these movie greats?

Don't forget home videos!

Lately we have been uplifted as we watch the Mormon Messages shared on YouTube by the LDS church. The Ant Bug loves to watch this one from President Hinckley--it teaches a great lesson.



Play with folder games, puzzles and lacing cards.

These cute folder games come from Finch Family Games.

After a recent clean-out of our ward Primary storage cupboard I found myself with a stack of gospel photos leftover from incomplete lesson sets. So I used some of them to make puzzles and lacing cards.

Make use of The Friend. The Friend magazine is an excellent resource and can fill many afternoons. The Sunday Stations story printed in the March 2009 edition provided a great pattern for Sunday activities (our stations were more like 7 minutes than 10 minutes, but it worked).

Games can be laminated for longer use.
The magazine is just chock full of stories and activities to keep little minds busy (and likely you as well). If you have multiple children using the magazine you can always print copies of the activities and coloring pages.

Bake cookies. Eat some. Share them. Enough said.

Play pretend Primary. Some Sundays we have multiple sessions of church, since the Ant Bug loves to play pretend Primary. Our pretend Primary includes a large portion of dolls and stuffed animals and much singing. Maybe someday I'll convince the Ant Bug to be the teacher, but until then I don't mind another opportunity to teach a gospel lesson.

Worship through music. We sing a lot of Primary songs at the piano. And we enjoy listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and a whole assortment of uplifting musicians.

Looking for more ideas? Check out this list of over 100 Sabbath Day Activity Ideas on Sugardoodle.net

Lessons Learned in the Kitchen

Lesson 1. If your crock pot ever ends up looking like this, use baking soda and water.


If your BBQ Chicken ends up a little overdone (as in black sauce) you probably shouldn't waste a lot of muscle power trying to scrub it. Let it soak overnight in soapy water instead. When you wake up in the morning and it still looks the same, you might decide the best solution is to do a Google search on "how to clean burnt crock pot". Don't be fooled by the claims of boiling vinegar water in the crock pot for a few hours. Don't even think about wasting a dryer sheet by letting it soak overnight in the crock pot. Instead, just add water to your crock pot past the burnt line, stir in a few tablespoons of baking soda, and let that solution boil for a few hours. The burnt stuff will float right off, leaving your beloved crock pot good as new and ready to cook up your favorite recipes on low for 6-8 hours as usual.


Lesson 2. It's a very good idea to never leave anything on the stove (except for a pot).

Hypothetically speaking, you should probably never leave a plastic measuring cup on the stove because you might turn on the wrong burner when you're making rice for dinner. And you might get busy putting laundry in the washing machine, with two little girls eagerly pulling on your leg so they can help throw the clothes in the machine. And as the water is running in, you might start to wonder what you're smelling: Could the washer be malfunctioning? Is the rice boiling over?

You might be shocked to discover a smoking something on your stove (the cup is beyond recognition now). While you stare in surprise at the stove and your kitchen fills with smoke, you might start yelling for your husband. You'll probably come to your senses enough to turn off the stove and herd the children out of the house, while your gallant husband scraps off the stinky mess on the stove.

You might even be lucky enough to have your house smell like burnt plastic for a few days! Don't hesitate to pull out your arsenal of scented candles to mask the smell, and be glad you live in Florida where you can open your windows and doors really wide in the middle of March.

And just be thankful that nothing more was destroyed and nobody was hurt. :)

How do you teach your children to work?

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of...work..." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, paragraph 7)

The Ant Bug loves to help with house work. Wearing her own pair of yellow rubber gloves, she happily cleans the bathrooms with me--using the toilet brush is her favorite part. She likes to set the table, and after dinner she often stands at the sink with me to rinse the dishes. She gets offended if she doesn't get to wash the tile floor with me. And she and the Sweet Bee joyfully run around screaming like banshees whenever I pull out the vacuum.

"It is a myth that children don't want to work. Most children, especially young children, love to work and often offer to help. What most children resent and resist is being asked to work alone. "Go clean your room" sounds overwhelming. "Let's go clean your room" says something quite different. This does not mean that efforts to train children to share in the family work will be easy or will always go smoothly. What it does mean is that we can reject the popular idea that children must be prodded, enticed, or supplied with some external motivation to participate in family chores" (Bahr, see below for citation).

To date, we haven't sat down with the Ant Bug and given her specific chores for which she is responsible. At four years old, there are definitely age appropriate chores she could do. But I haven't been exactly sure how to go about the process of starting. A part of me worries that by giving her a list of chores to do, she'll lose her enthusiasm for working alongside me.

So I've been doing some research:

Simple Mom has a great chore chart for preschoolers. Being the compulsive list-maker that I am, a chore chart is a must for me.

Marie at Make and Takes recently tackled the issue of encouraging independence in children. Her comments struck a familiar chord with me, since the Ant Bug also likes to make her own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I thought the following was excellent counsel, taken from Strengthening the Family: Resource Guide for Parents

Give Your Children Responsibilities
Many parents tend to overindulge their children and shield them from the responsibilities they once had to go through—experiences that helped them become capable adults. When parents dole out goods and services for their children while requiring little in return, their children lose the motivation to become self-reliant and responsible. Instead, they tend to become lazy, selfish, and self-indulgent. Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve taught: “Those who do too much for their children will soon find they can do nothing with their children.”

Teach your children to work alongside you, starting when they are young and have a natural desire to help. Assign your children routine chores according to their abilities. Family work activities “can become daily rituals of family love and belonging.”

Teach your children to serve others. Elder Derek A. Cuthbert of the Seventy taught, “Wise parents will provide service opportunities in the home for their children from an early age.” Teach them to do their best and to try again if they fail. (p. 34)

So...giving children opportunities to work is a good thing! (Duh). As I formulate my plans for instilling a work ethic in my children, I would love to hear from you. How do you teach your children to work?

Great Further Reading:
Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and others, “The Meaning and Blessings of Family Work,” in Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, ed. David C. Dollahite (Salt Lake City:Bookcraft, 2000), 178.

14 Ways to Show Love for Your Child

The following are Valentine's Day tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). But feel free to use these tips year round, not just on Valentine's Day!

1. Use plenty of positive words with your child. Try to avoid using sarcasm with your child. They often don’t understand it, and if they do, it creates a negative interaction.

2. Respond promptly and lovingly to your child's physical and emotional needs and banish put-downs from your parenting vocabulary.

3. Make an extra effort to set a good example at home and in public. Use words like "I'm sorry," "please," and "thank you."

4. When your child is angry, argumentative or in a bad mood, give him a hug, cuddle, pat, secret sign or other gesture of affection he favors and then talk with him about it when he’s feeling better.

5. Use non-violent forms of discipline. Parents should institute both rewards and restrictions many years before adolescence to help prevent trouble during the teenage years. Allowing children of any age to constantly break important rules without being disciplined only encourages more rule violations.

6. Make plans to spend time alone with your young child or teen doing something she enjoys.

7. Mark family game nights on your calendar so the entire family can be together. Put a different family member's name under each date, and have that person choose which game will be played that evening.

8. Owning a pet can make children, especially those with chronic illnesses and disabilities, feel better by stimulating physical activity, enhancing their overall attitude, and offering constant companionship.

9. One of the best ways to familiarize your child with good food choices is to encourage him to cook with you. Let him get involved in the entire process, from planning the menus to shopping for ingredients to the actual food preparation and its serving. It is wonderful when families eat together as much as possible. Good food, good conversations.

10. As your child grows up, she'll spend most of her time developing and refining a variety of skills and abilities in all areas of her life. You should help her as much as possible by encouraging her and providing the equipment and instruction she needs.

11. Your child's health depends significantly on the care and guidance you offer during his early years. By taking your child to the doctor regularly for consultations, keeping him safe from accidents, providing a nutritious diet, and encouraging exercise throughout childhood, you help protect and strengthen his body.

12. Help your child foster positive relationships with friends, siblings and members of the community.

13. One of your most important gifts as a parent is to help your child develop self-esteem. Your child needs your steady support and encouragement to discover his strengths. He needs you to believe in him as he learns to believe in himself. Loving him, spending time with him, listening to him and praising his accomplishments are all part of this process.

14. Don't forget to say, "I love you" to children of all ages!

Love in Parenting

The following is an excerpt from a great online resource for parents, Real Families, Real Answers. Sponsored by the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University, articles on the website are authored by students and faculty in the School of Family Life and are reviewed by a team of content experts and copy editors before publication.

"Love is the first of a three-part formula for parenting: Love, limits, and latitude. Loving children is so important that researchers sometimes call it the “super-factor” of parenting. Good nurturing makes children feel loved and cherished, and researchers have found that without that feeling, there’s little else parents can do to make up for it.

Urie Bronfenbrenner, a renowned expert on child development, says every child needs parents who are crazy about him or her-an “irrational relationship.” Children are wired to “fall in love” with their parents, and they deserve parents who fall in love back.

Beyond the obvious benefits of nurturing love, research shows that loving and nurturing parenting is linked to better child behavior at all ages. Nurturing parents build strong bonds with their children, providing them with a sense of security that helps them grow into confident and loving people.

How can you be a more loving and nurturing parent? Here are some ideas:

Learn your child’s love language. Each person feels love in a different way. A wise parent carefully studies how a child likes to receive love, and then sends love in that way often. Without this care, actions that a parent might think are loving can be perceived as unloving. For example, one mother came home from a long day at work, met her little boy at the front door, ruffled his hair, told him “I love you!” and walked to her room. He followed her and replied, “Mommy, I don’t want you to love me, I want you to play catch with me!”

In another example, a father invited his teenaged son to hunt big game in Montana. The father thought the expedition together would be a great way to spend time with his son and show his love. But what the son really wanted from his father was less dramatic - he just wanted his dad to go with him occasionally to a nearby reservoir and watch the ducks take off.

How can parents learn their child’s love language? One way, according to parent educator Wally Goddard at the University of Arkansas, is simply to notice ways you’ve already shown love that your child asks for more of. One father says his children love their outings with him one at a time. They frequently ask, “When are we going on our one-on-one?” His youngest daughter is emphatic about wanting to go swimming for their time together. By honoring her request, he shows his love for her in one of the ways she can best receive it.

You can also learn about your child’s love language by noticing how she or he shows love, according to Goddard. Children often show love in the way they like to receive it. Or you might try recalling when you felt especially loved by someone and identify what that person did, then treat your child similarly.

You can also take the direct approach-ask your children what you do or say that helps them feel loved. Answers might include hugs, bedtime stories, one-on-one outings, midnight pancakes and conversation, playing a game together, or a special gift."

For more helpful ideas on loving and nurturing your children, read the rest of the article here.

How do you spend your time?

An article highlighted in the recent BYU Magazine gave me something to think about:

"A recent study by Joseph P. Price (BA ’03), a BYU economics assistant professor, is waking up parents with his finding that, by and large, firstborn children get about 3,000 more hours of parental time between the ages of 4 and 13 than second-borns. In an article published in the Journal of Human Resources, he says that while parents may spend equal time with each child on any given day, they tend to spend progressively less total time with their children as their parenting years advance. As the amount of parenting time gets smaller, the second child garners less total time.

"Price explains what typically happens in families: “As your firstborn gets older, reading to him starts to drop off. You say, ‘Oh, he knows how to read now; I don’t need to read to him.’ But at the same time you stop reading to your firstborn, you read less to your second-born, who is younger. Also, as the firstborn gets older, you start to watch more television with him, which means you’re watching more television with your second-born when he’s at a younger age.

"In other words, the second-born gets sucked into whatever the firstborn is doing. And so, unfortunately, he loses out on reading and gets more TV."

I have to admit, I'm guilty as charged. From day one, I was reading books to the Ant Bug. Reading 2-3 books before sleep has always been a key element of our bedtime routine. I'm sure this has been a factor in her prolific verbal abilities. In addition, she's always been on the short end of the scale when it comes to sleep duration, so we had plenty of hours in the day to fill up with enlightening activities like story time, music time, and school time.

And now we have our Sweet Bee, just over a year old. If we're lucky to have Dad home at bedtime, then he reads books with her while I get the Ant Bug ready for bed (but this has only been a recent development). And she is a really good napper! But unfortunately, that means that her awake time usually corresponds with meal times (preparation, eating, cleaning) and errand times (shopping, etc). Which doesn't leave much quality one-on-one time. Also, the Sweet Bee is much more easily entertained. For an extended period of time she will quite happily toddle all around the house, with something in hand and mouth, thrilled to be able to walk on her own two feet.

So is all hope lost, for any children after the first born? Hardly. Happy, successful people come from all walks of life, in any birth order.

But in the meantime, I'm rethinking my time spent with my most precious responsibility. And I'll be thinking of ways to discover more quality and quantity time with both of my sweet girls.

Take this informal time-use survey and judge if the time you spend with your children is both quantity and quality.

Write a letter. Encourage a mother.

While doing my nightly reading one of my favorite blogs, I discovered something wonderful.

The Mother Letter Project

A husband and wife who are fed up with the materialism of the Christmas season decided to forgo spending money for gifts this year and donate the money saved to a small village in Africa. They are making gifts for each other that don't cost a dime, and this husband has come up with a truly heartfelt gift. In his words:

"I am creating my wife’s Christmas present-the Mother Letter Project. Simply stated, I am collecting a series of “open letters” from mothers, to mothers. Share your stories—no matter how raw or difficult. Share you concerns—no matter how foolish they may seem. Share your wisdom—no matter how you came by it. Share your mother story."

Will you write a letter? I'll be composing one in my mind tonight as I rock my baby in the wee hours.

Visit the Mother Letter Project blog for all the details. And if you choose to submit a letter, you'll even receive your own copy of the compilation.

So...Share your story. Write a letter. Encourage a mother.

Preserving Marriage: Vote for it!

The Family: A Proclamation to the World clearly states that

"marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children".

Marriage is between a man and a woman. That's it.

This election is significant when it comes to the definition of marriage. Three states (Florida, Arizona, California) have propositions on the ballot that will amend the constitution to define marriage as only between one man and one woman.

"The best arrangement for children is to have both a married mother and a father. Single parents do the best job they can but a vast body of social science research clearly tells us that children are always happier, healthier and better adjusted when raised by a married mother and father." (http://www.yes2marriage.org/mediafiles/fact-sheet.pdf)

If you live in one of these three states, visit the websites below for more information. Most importantly, please vote to support marriage!

California

Florida

Arizona

The Divine Institution of Marriage

I recently received a link to an important article on the LDS Church News site regarding the sanctity of marriage. This November, voters in Florida, Arizona and California will have the opportunity to vote for a constitutional amendment protecting marriage. I urge you to become informed and take a stand on this significant issue. As the article states, "traditional marriage is essential to society as a whole, and especially to its children".

You can start by reading the article: The Divine Institution of Marriage

The article illustrates very clearly why marriage between a man and a woman should be preserved and protected. The primary purpose of marriage is to nurture children and teach them to be responsible, moral adults. "Extensive studies have shown that in general a husband and wife united in a loving, committed marriage provide the optimal environment for children to be protected, nurtured, and raised."

The article concludes with the following:

"Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identity as a man or a woman. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise yet another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has chosen to become involved, along with many other churches, organizations, and individuals, in defending the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman because it is a compelling moral issue of profound importance to our religion and to the future of our society.

"The final line in the Proclamation on the Family is an admonition to the world from the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” This is the course charted by Church leaders, and it is the only course of safety for the Church and for the nation."